Body Shaming

This quote by JK Rowling has become one of my favourites, because she’s absolutely right.

  Being fat doesn’t make you evil, it doesn’t make you stupid, it doesn’t make you cruel, but then equally it doesn’t make you beautiful, it doesn’t make you intelligent and it doesn’t make you nice.

Here’s the thing, your weight doesn’t really make you anything. 

Over the last few moths, celebrities such as Cheryl Fernadez-Versni and even lovely cake-baking Mary Berry have all offered an opinion on fatties. 

   I’m going to let Mary Berry off, because actually she was defending the reputation of cake. Mary essentially said she didn’t think “large” people should judge cakes, because it might give the wrong impression that cakes make you fat. Mary’s worried that if the nation gets the impression that excessive cake-eating makes you fat, then we will stop watching ”the Great British Bake Off” and the nation’s love of a Ganache smeared Macaron will be lost forever. Mary fear not, I’ve never eaten Ganache or a Macaron and I’m still fat, so stop you’re fretting and worry about more important things like out-punning Sue and Mel in next week’s episode!

  Cheryl is a difficult one for one. A few months ago, the front pages of newspapers and magazines were full of pictures of a  “worryingly skinny” Cheryl attending various events. Headlines used words such as “gaunt” “too skinny” and a “bag of bones” (a headline I think was written by my Gran) 

  Cheryl hit back, how dare people body shame her! What business of anyone’s was it what she weighed? Cheryl issued a statement saying she would never dream of calling anyone fat or telling them to cut down on their food intake, so she questioned the difference between that and telling her to eat. She also said she’d just lost her father-in-law and was dealing with that.

  I’ve never been a Cheryl fan, but this made me warm to her. I always say losing / gaining weight starts with what’s going on in your head. I comfort eat and I totally understand that with others it’s the reverse. 

  We all  cope with stress differently, it might be by drinking, smoking, exercising, shopping, Botox, or whatever it is that makes them feel better. We all have a stress coping mechanism and sometimes you do what you can to get through the day. Cheryl was having a rough time and unlike normal people who can just hide away in the privacy of their own home watching back to back episodes of "Pretty Little Liars", hers was all over the front pages and she was having to justify it.

And then………. And you never know if things have been taken out of context! A story emerged that Cheryl doesn’t think using words such as “curvy” are healthy when describing obese people. Or telling them they look great, because being overweight is unhealthy. 

  In some respects I think Cheryl is bang on, being overweight is unhealthy, being underweight is unhealthy. However telling someone they look “great” is not a bad thing, because maybe that person does and it’s OK for them to hear that they look nice, it's confidence building and we all deserve a metaphorical shot in the arm. Or maybe that glow is coming from deep inside and on that day they are happy with their lot. This is my favourite ever quote from the very wise Roald Dahl. It's on the noticeboard above my desk.

Never underestimate how beautiful happiness can make you look.

  So I am not ashamed and I wont be body shamed. My size, my hair colour, my left toe aren’t the essence of me.

   I remember after Mum died, Lucy and I had a conversation about where she’d gone. I don’t mean a heaven / hell discussion, but where the essence of our Mum had gone. Her body was just a physical carrier and we could understand that, that had “broken” and stopped doing it’s job, but that wasn’t what made my Mum, my Mum.

   Her body didn’t have a fierce lioness love of her family, her body didn’t give her the belief that Nottingham Forest would end up back in the Premiership (I said my Mum was a great woman, I didn’t say she was a sensible one) her body didn’t make her always know what to do. They were her spirit, her essence. Where did that go? I know that’s probably a deep theological discussion, that has no place in a weight loss blog, but you get my point. My Mum’s body,  fat or thin isn't what I miss, I miss her spirit.

Me, Mum & Lucy

  To me, body and spirit are two separate things. Your body can be physically attractive, but your spirit can all the beauty of a sceptic tank or your body can be a bit ropey and your spirit can be as stunning as a beach on a summer’s day.

  So, no, fat isn’t the worst thing a person can be, it’s just a thing.