Fat Girls Don't Don't Dance....But Slinky Ones Do!

When I started writing this blog, I promised myself I would be honest. So rather than pretend my first weigh in for 3 weeks "wasn't that bad" I've put on 6 whole pounds! Ouch! Although I’ve been a Slinky Angel this last week, so I can only imagine what the actual damage REALLY was, so I'm assuming I've actually lost weight since I got back from holiday! What? I’m a journalist, we like to manipulate facts!

  Anyway that aside it’s a new year and unlike everyone else in the world, I decided to leave my return to the gym until a week after everyone else and here's why. The first week of a new year, gyms are full of people in new trainers doing lunges, I figure tomorrow we’ll be a week into the new year and some of those people will have decided to retire with an early groin strain.

  2014 is also the year I’m going to be more confident about my body, even though I’m losing weight (this week aside!) I know that most mornings if I'm misfortunate enough to catch a naked glimpse of myself in the mirror, I pick a dozen things I don’t like. So I've decided that now when I step out the shower I MAKE myself look at me naked and pick something that I do like about me. Most mornings it’s my eyes and hair, but hey they’re good eyes and hair, and focusing on what’s right with me is far better than letting my thunder thighs ruin my day!

  I was watching “Splash” on Saturday night (feel free to judge, even I’m appalled at myself) and it bugged the living daylights out of me how they treated Gemma Collins (blonde girl from “TOWIE”) they did anything and everything to avoid mentioning her weight. They spoke about how scared she was of heights, her bruises, and then patronisingly praised her. It’s the same on shows like “Strictly Come Dancing” and “Dancing on Ice” no one expects the fattie to do well. Look at the criticism Lisa Riley received before she’d even zipped on a sequin frock and yet she was brilliant.

  It set me thinking, when you’re fat, the majority of the time you feel a bit crap about yourself, despite the myth of the "jolly fat person" That's really just Santa and I bet even he has days where he thinks "oh go away, with your bowl full of jelly nonsense". People who've never had a weight problem and I'm led to believe these mythical creatures do exist, say stuff like "well you’ve only got yourself to blame you shovelled the food down your neck" and to a point they’re right. Except they’re not! For me, my eating problems started because I was looking for some way to make myself feel better from all the bad stuff that was happening in my life. I didn’t do it because I was in training for the Biscuit Boost eating Olympics, I did it because I was miserable! So as funny as those people thought it was to refer to me as “Fat Katie” or offer everyone else in the office a cake, but me (this was the favourite trick of a “lady” I like to call Vile Scabby Fanny) all it did was make me feel even worse and go home and eat even more, so how did that help?

  In 2014, I am going to learn to love every single inch of me. From my ridiculously large boobs (which I actually quite like) to my squidgy belly,  to my too much junk in my trunk ass; I’m going to adore them! As a result my New Years resolution is to try something that’s going to make people either laugh at me behind my back and say things like “hilarious, she actually thinks she can do that, she's far too fat!” to “Are you sure?” I’ve signed up for pole dancing lessons. I am fortunate enough to have friends who when I messaged them and said there’s 6 pole dancing lessons on Group on for a tenner fancy it? They said yes!

By the end of 6 weeks I will be able to do this & look like this •disclaimer* maybe / sort of / isn

 I know it will be hard, I know I will have aches in places I didn’t know I had places, but I’m going to give it a go. When I’ve done that I’m signing myself up for Burlesque lessons! Why? Because I think not only will it be a laugh, but also both things are about feeling sexy and confident and that’s what Slinky is all about. No matter what your size you should be able to feel sexy and confident and happy with who you are!

PS - If anyone is aware of any Nottinghamshire Burlesque classes please let me know, I'm ready to unleash my inner Dita Von Tease!