Better to be the One Who Smiled First

I love this quote and it’s something I always try to do. When you first do it, you feel a bit daft, but before you know it you’ve had half a dozen conversations with random people and the daftness has definitely faded. If I didn’t do this, how else would I know that Snoop Dogg (or is he Snoop Lion now?) has a member of his posse called Rat a Tat Tat? It’s amazing what you can learn from random men in pubs!

  At the train station a few weeks ago, I ordered a couple of coffees and the lady behind the counter treated me like she’d just found out I had been round to her house and chopped all the arms off of her jumpers. She was really rude! As she crashed and banged cardboard coffee cups around and sighed at the fact I wanted milk, I found myself chatting nonsense at her. I went for the obvious weather smalltalk (grunt) wasn’t it busy today? (Another grunt) she must see all sorts in her job (grunt grunt) I could see the woman look at me like I was completely mental. As she finished our coffees and I paid I said; “have a lovely day”, the look on her face was priceless and she grunted back “yes you too” and then she actually smiled!

  For the last week, I’ve kept a note of every time someone’s paid me a compliment, when I started this, I thought it might be a really short list, but actually it hasn’t been. I’m normally really rubbish at taking compliments, so when someone says;

“That’s a nice skirt”, I’ll normally reply with something like “oh thanks, it was only £10.00 from Sainsburys, I’ve had it ages” (other supermarket clothing ranges are available)

  The first compliment I received was from someone telling me that my nails looked nice. They do, Sam who does my nails is a genius.

  As I made a note of the compliment, I thought I bet that’s the only one I write down. Then as I posted a link to last week’s blog, my friend Steph left me this message;

  To be honest it snowballed from there. I noticed even the tiniest of compliments “nice handbag”, “I really enjoy reading what you write”, and “Isn’t your dog well behaved” (Believe me that’s probably the biggest compliment I’ve EVER received!)

  My friend Paula also left me a voice message, which really made me smile and was just what I needed to hear at that point.

  I noticed that gratefully receiving the compliments, meant that in turn I said nice things to people and tried to help people where I could. I also noticed that I started to treat myself better. I’ve made time to go to the gym, I’ve taken Cyril for a walk, really enjoying the peace and quiet and the chance to just wander with him, rather than worrying about having to get back for something. I’ve made loads of lovely fresh food from scratch and enjoyed being in the kitchen. I’ve spent time in the garden painting the furniture, that I’ve been meaning to do for ages, I didn’t even get stressed when Cyril decided to help me and got paint on his bum. I even found myself saying no to things I really didn't want to do, as well as having the confidence to say when I didn't think things were right.

  I’ve also lost another pound this week, so that also added to my general sense of well being, even though after a weekend away with my sister and friend Julie, which involved Fish & chips, ice cream and wine, I’m not wholly sure I deserved it, but I’ll take it.

  So if you didn’t join in last week, this week just try it, see how many compliments you do get throughout the week and make a note of it, I guarantee it will put a smile on your face!

"She's Got a Right Bob on Her Sen" (Nottinghamshire speak for "Doesn't she think she's amazing?")

I got asked yesterday if I was a life coach, because every day I start the day by posting something positive on Facebook. In fact this isn’t the first time I’ve been asked that question and my reason for doing it is simple. Reading a book called “The Secret” really helped me reassess how I was living and whilst some people might think its claptrap, I can guarantee that these are the people that post Facebook statuses such as

You know the sort of statuses that elicit the responses

“The Secret” says what you think about you bring about, so if you think positively, positive stuff will happen because that’s the frame of mind you’re in. Think rubbish horrible thoughts and rubbish horrible things will happen. Read Rhonda Byrne’s book, she puts it far better than me!

  My secret is, that I work at being positive, having suffered from depression and tried to solve that problem by eating, which just made me fat, looking on the bright side doesn’t come easily, but I make it a priority. 

   Just recently, life has been tough, I’ve had a lot of things to deal with and last Thursday I could have cheerfully drowned myself in a vat of Maltesers, but I didn’t. Mainly because my sister Lucy talked me of the Cadbury’s ledge and she was right, I felt so much better for NOT eating the chocolate.

  I’ve struggled to get myself out of bed and paint a smile on the last week or so, but I have. Yesterday, the last thing I felt like doing was picking up my sparkly top hat, cane, fan and feather boa and heading to my Burlesque exercise class, but I did and I’m so glad I did. After an hour of gyrating my hips to such classics as “So Macho” and “Walk this Way” (don’t knock burlesque to an Aerosmith classic till you’ve tried it) I felt better than I had done in days.

  Now love a cheesy tune and a hip wiggle as much as the next woman, but the thing I really love about the class, is that it’s all about feeling good. There are ladies there of all ages and all sizes, but as Beyoncé belted out

 I looked at the faces of the women in the room and I knew that just as I was strutting round my red velour chair flicking my hair about pretending I was Beyoncé, I noticed every other woman in the room was feeling the same. Throughout that one song we all felt good about ourselves, our inner Beyoncé’s had found a voice and were singing loudly.

  You ask most women what she likes about herself and she’ll umm and ahhh. Ask her what she doesn’t like and you’ll be there for hours. Anyone that does say they quite like something about themselves is deemed to be “up their own arse” or if you’re from Nottinghamshire “got a right bob on her sen” and then society attempts to tear down that self confidence until she (or indeed he) feels as rubbish about themselves as the rest of them.

  So I decided to do myself a favour (and maybe you feel like doing the same) but for next week’s blog I’m going to make a list of all the things I actually like about myself and also keep a note of any compliments I receive. If you want to join in then simply comment below or like my Facebook page and send me a message!

And finally, another pound off this week! Slowly, but surely!

How Do You Take Compliments Poll?

Hello! I’m after a bit of help. Following a conversation the other day I want to put together a blog about how you accept (or maybe don’t) compliments.

  To the right of the screen you will see a little poll, so if you could take the time to click an answer that would be great. Ort if you want to leave me a comment that would also be great!

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  Thank you for your help, here’s a lovely bunch of virtual flowers to say thanks!