When More Nos Equal More Yeses

I’m just going to say it, three weeks after really getting to grips with “operation love my Heart” and my little plaque proudly displays, these little numbers.

I’m so proud of myself! Proud because I’ve stuck to what I promised myself I would!

  Now I’ve always been the sort of person, who’s pretty much up for anything, which is probably how I found myself camping in the jungle with a group of soldiers and abseiling down the side of Nottingham Forest Football club.

  Somehow my fun "yeses" got turned into not so fun "yeses", and I found the time I had for me getting less and less and the things I wanted or sometimes needed to do getting put on the backburner. I don’t like ironing any more than the next person, but sometimes you’ve got to get it done!

  So two weeks ago when my sister Lucy signed up to join my gym, I said “yes” to giving her my password to my online booking and agreed to try various classes, on the proviso that if I REALLY hated something or suffered injury I didn’t have to go again!

  Every bit of me wanted to say “no”, but a promise is a promise and what is it they say ....

  We started off with aqua Zumba, which in fairness, won me round immediately…. Dancing in the water? What’s not to love? Alright it was hardly the famous lake scene from “Dirty Dancing”, but there was a classic Aha track on the playlist for good measure and afterwards we gossiped in the hot tub.

  Then there was the yoga…. This class started and ended with 10 minutes laying on the floor…. This baby sells itself! I didn’t care that I’d accidentally positioned myself next to Bendy McBendyface the bendiest woman in all of bendyland.

Next up was body combat. This is basically pretending to punch and kick things in time to music. Great for stress levels and I slept like a baby afterwards!

  Finally, today it was Just Jhoom, which is my favourite gym class! It’s basically a Bollywood version of Zumba.

  To allow me to fit all of this in, I’ve said “no” to some stuff I don’t want to do!

  It’s not just been the exercise, I’ve said “no” to biscuits in meetings, I said “no” when someone offered me a cake to take home and I’ve politely declined taking on a work project that ultimately would be of no benefit to my business.

  So if I take all my nos and add them to my yeses, do you know what I got? 3 ½ pounds off! That’s what I got!

  Tomorrow I’ve said yes to going spinning and unless the teacher looks like Matt Goss and is naked, this might get added to my “no’s” for next week

Do You Want to Build a Snowman?

Earlier today, I asked my sister if she had to compare me to a Disney character, which one would I be? She replied without hesitation “you’d be Anna from “Frozen”, because you always want to build a bloody snowman!”

  The question came about, because I’d been reading by friend Ali’s blog “The Ali Sandwiches” and she’d been speaking how her inner Snow White constantly battles with her inner Dobby the House Elf and how she fights between letting one rule the other and it set me thinking…....

95% of the time my inner Anna wins every single time, I’m the first one who wants to pull on her boots, winter coat and gloves and head outside to build a snowman (if it’s snowing obviously) I’m up for trying anything once – see my previous blogs on pole dancing and burlesque (which I still do!)

  But over the last few weeks, my inner Cinderella has silenced my inner Anna… Trinderella if you will. I don’t mean the one who gets to get all dressed up, go to a party and meet a fit prince. I mean the one who thinks she’s only good enough to stay at home and do the chores. It’s not even the Cinderella who manages to convince various woodland creatures that making her a frock is a good idea.

 The last few weeks have been really tough and I’ve really struggled with my emotions for many reasons. I’ve felt like I’ve had to fight to prove my worth in just about every situation, whether it’s been what I’m being paid, to actually getting people to acknowledge my very existence. I think I understand how twins must feel, when they get dismissed as one person, just recently I’ve found myself answering to my sister’s name…even in e-mails!!! And being lumped into the X Factor category of “The Girls”, which is sort of flattering, but I’ll be 40 next year and Simon Cowell is nowhere to be seen!

  I apparently also have magical powers to fix everyone’s problems, my favourite was an acquaintance asking me to locate her an antique Welsh dresser! Why I would know where to find one of those is beyond me!

  I think I let all these things grind me down and Anna was sent to her room, to dream of building snowmen, whilst Trinderella scrubbed floors and tried to make sure everyone else had a lovely life. My diet has been unimportant, there's been a pound lost here, half a pound gained here, it hasn't really mattered.

  Hanging out with my God-daughter Eve at the weekend, helped put things into perspective. Eve is 3 years old, but she likes to whisper loudly in secret to Lucy that she’s the one who looks after me! She’s 3; she knows the difference between Aunty Katie and Aunty Lucy! Eve arrives, budges Cyril up so she can sit on my knee, declares that Cyril is one of her dogs and then decides we should eat pink cake and play on the park. Sounds like a plan to me!

  Seeing Eve and her brother Nate, running around like lunatics and enjoying everything made me happy. Before I knew it, we were planning a trip to go trampolining, cinema and a craft afternoon, where I think I promised Eve, there’d be painting. 

  My inner Anna was back; life is about adventures and trying things and not having to prove anything to anybody. If someone tries to put you down by using then wrong name, then screw them. Maybe it’s not disrespectful to be referred to as “the Girls”. Me and my sister are an unbreakable force, (think Ant and Dec, but without the millions and a love of golf) some people never get that type of friendship in their life. And I can’t solve everyone’s problems and truth be told, I don’t even know what a Welsh dresser is, let alone where to find one and I’m OK with that!

  I always tease Eve that I’m her Fairy Godmother, but truth is, I think she’s mine!

Better to be the One Who Smiled First

I love this quote and it’s something I always try to do. When you first do it, you feel a bit daft, but before you know it you’ve had half a dozen conversations with random people and the daftness has definitely faded. If I didn’t do this, how else would I know that Snoop Dogg (or is he Snoop Lion now?) has a member of his posse called Rat a Tat Tat? It’s amazing what you can learn from random men in pubs!

  At the train station a few weeks ago, I ordered a couple of coffees and the lady behind the counter treated me like she’d just found out I had been round to her house and chopped all the arms off of her jumpers. She was really rude! As she crashed and banged cardboard coffee cups around and sighed at the fact I wanted milk, I found myself chatting nonsense at her. I went for the obvious weather smalltalk (grunt) wasn’t it busy today? (Another grunt) she must see all sorts in her job (grunt grunt) I could see the woman look at me like I was completely mental. As she finished our coffees and I paid I said; “have a lovely day”, the look on her face was priceless and she grunted back “yes you too” and then she actually smiled!

  For the last week, I’ve kept a note of every time someone’s paid me a compliment, when I started this, I thought it might be a really short list, but actually it hasn’t been. I’m normally really rubbish at taking compliments, so when someone says;

“That’s a nice skirt”, I’ll normally reply with something like “oh thanks, it was only £10.00 from Sainsburys, I’ve had it ages” (other supermarket clothing ranges are available)

  The first compliment I received was from someone telling me that my nails looked nice. They do, Sam who does my nails is a genius.

  As I made a note of the compliment, I thought I bet that’s the only one I write down. Then as I posted a link to last week’s blog, my friend Steph left me this message;

  To be honest it snowballed from there. I noticed even the tiniest of compliments “nice handbag”, “I really enjoy reading what you write”, and “Isn’t your dog well behaved” (Believe me that’s probably the biggest compliment I’ve EVER received!)

  My friend Paula also left me a voice message, which really made me smile and was just what I needed to hear at that point.

  I noticed that gratefully receiving the compliments, meant that in turn I said nice things to people and tried to help people where I could. I also noticed that I started to treat myself better. I’ve made time to go to the gym, I’ve taken Cyril for a walk, really enjoying the peace and quiet and the chance to just wander with him, rather than worrying about having to get back for something. I’ve made loads of lovely fresh food from scratch and enjoyed being in the kitchen. I’ve spent time in the garden painting the furniture, that I’ve been meaning to do for ages, I didn’t even get stressed when Cyril decided to help me and got paint on his bum. I even found myself saying no to things I really didn't want to do, as well as having the confidence to say when I didn't think things were right.

  I’ve also lost another pound this week, so that also added to my general sense of well being, even though after a weekend away with my sister and friend Julie, which involved Fish & chips, ice cream and wine, I’m not wholly sure I deserved it, but I’ll take it.

  So if you didn’t join in last week, this week just try it, see how many compliments you do get throughout the week and make a note of it, I guarantee it will put a smile on your face!